


Bottle

by poiowl



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji is sad, Friendship, Gen, Holy fuck I actually made angst, I Don't Even Know, KuroAka - Freeform, Oneshot, Pills, Please Don't Kill Me, Please Send Help, Suicide Attempt, akaashi is really stressed, kuroo is a Good Friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25671184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poiowl/pseuds/poiowl
Summary: Stressed Akaashi Keiji having unhealthy thoughts of ending all those problems at once. Kuroo comes in just in time.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Kuroo Tetsurou
Kudos: 25





	Bottle

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for the slight angst.

The night hit far quicker than he had anticipated. It felt utterly cold and unusually quiet. Only the sounds of crickets were heard as the sky only lit up from the moonlight. A streak of it shining directly at him through his window, emphasizing his loneliness. Akaashi sits on the edge of his bed, looking down on the floor, his hands neatly placed on his lap. 

The apartment was dim, but the light made it more depressing than majestic. 

He may seem like the normal, non-expressive, blunt Akaashi Keiji from behind but upfront, it wasn't really the usual calmness he always wore for every day that his teammates and classmates see.

He had bags under his eyes, lips pale and slightly dry, pursing it bit by bit. His chest heaves up and down a bit too slowly, almost as if he was gasping. He couldn't even remember when he had atleast 4 hours of sleep. He was exhausted. Very, very exhausted, with the thought that he would need to sleep forever in order to recover the energy he needed. 

His week—no, semester, had a bit of a tight schedule. Not only that, his requirements shot through the roof and the deadlines for projects didn't help either. It had a certain sequence that wasn't at all pretty.

_Immense amount of homeworks that are to be passed the following day._

_Projects that would need to take lots of time to create only to be passed within the week it was given, or if they're lucky, by the following week._

_Uncooperative groupmates in making their activities and most probably their projects. Absence of some of their members when their group consisted of only 5 people, where 2 would be doing the work. Including him._

_His teachers berating each and every one of them for making a mistake. Especially him, as if he was being targeted. He felt like he was being brutally watched and that people were waiting, an expectation of failure from his actions that drove his nerves on the edge._

__

He stares at his little side table, studying it by sight, rather— what was on top of it. He sighs, lifting his head as he continues staring at whatever's in his line of sight. 

His head soon ached, as if it weren't hurting already. Alone, his thoughts were hiking back on top and letting his senses drift away. His roommate should've been back by now. Earlier, he was told that he'd meet up with another friend for a bit and would soon return. He shook his head and sighed deeply, taking whatever's on the table.

_Zolpidem_

Blankly staring at the bottle, he set it down once more before getting out of the room to get some water. Returning, he put it beside the pills and shut his eyes for a moment, waiting for a sound of maybe his roommate finally arriving but it was all silence. Sighing again as he pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling his head continuously being crushed.

"I want this to end." He grabbed onto his own hair, his eyes shut as he felt the sharp pain. His thoughts raced, voices calling out to him, chanting and making him move. He could hear his own thoughts tell him to _do it_ and now. His eyes were now half open and looked directly at the pill bottle. A faint smiled appeared on his face, looking at it with such desperation. _Maybe, just maybe._

He took the bottle and popped the lid open, now looking at the small white pills that sit inside. He paused for a moment, his brain completely engulfed by the voices that he should do it immediately. Confused at first, he stared at the pills and he knew that it was about that.

Shaking the bottle, a few pieces came out but he stopped. He looked at the pills intently, studying it. His mind was blank and his senses died down, unsure when it'll return and knock on his brain.

He then poured more of the pills out of the bottle, some spilling onto the floor. He had a handful of it, almost carrying half in his hand while his other gripped on the bed sheets. His lips quivered, realizing what he was doing but not stopping. His eyes narrowed along with his eyebrows knitting together. His heart thumped like crazy and his breathing quickly paced, unable to think about his current actions but having the desire to _do it_.

Seconds later, he inhaled deeply and breathed out, putting the pills into his mouth, not hearing the apartment door open.

****

* * *

"Akaashi?" Kuroo called out, a bit surprised to see that everything was how he left it. The two-person couch was cold, meaning it wasn't used to watch t.v. or just simply hang out on. The kitchen was still intact, no activity either, feeling it was as cold as the living room. He cautiously checked the bathroom, hoping that he wasn't there changing and that he suddenly opened it, but no one.

He took one more glance at the openness of the apartment and everything is where it should be. Which oddly enough, the books should've been moved somewhere atleast or rearranged since Akaashi was pretty much a bookworm and would read a book to pass the time. He enjoyed them. Well, used to.

He sighed, expecting that his roommate was already asleep. He went to his own room, and changed out from his clothes, picking a pair of red boxers and a plain black shirt.

Kuroo was about to go to sleep, but he felt the need to go out of his so-called decent room. He did, just didn't know why. Glancing around, still. everything was in order, until he saw Akaashi's door slightly open, and unusually dim. He thought, again, that his roommate must be sleeping already but it wouldn't hurt to check.

"Akaashi?" He called out, walking towards the slightly opened door. He quietly peeked and glanced around the neatly arranged room. Kuroo was about to go back, until he saw Akaashi sitting on the bed. Smiling, he was about to silently go in and make him rest, considering that it was already late.

But that plan was put to a halt as soon as he saw what was on the table. He was able to see it since the end of Akaashi's bed was facing his door's direction, so Kuroo saw what he did.

Kuroo moved forward a bit and his eyes widened as he saw Akaashi dumping pills onto his hand and within seconds, lifting his head and putting it inside his mouth, not yet swallowing it. The bedhead quickly rushed inside, his hand grabbed onto Akaashi's shoulder while the other onto his cheeks.

Kuroo's thumb was on one side of Akaashi's cheek and two of his fingers were on the other. Shocked, the younger stared at his roommate, unable to react further. He saw Kuroo's worry and nervousness from his eyes and the grip on his face was far from comfortable.

"SPIT IT OUT! AKAASHI, SPIT IT OUT!" Kuroo demanded, forcing his mouth to open as Akaashi shut his eyes as he felt fingers on his cheeks, pressing so hard onto his skin. He whimpered but the taller male desperately continued to make his roommate, and friend, to spit out all those pills.

Eventually, he spit it out, Kuroo's palm ready in catching it so he wouldn't make a mess inside the younger's room. He grasped it and found a plastic bag and kept it there, immediately throwing it out in the bin near his room. He returned to Akaashi, who was coughing a bit as the bedhead panicked, and took the glass of water that was already placed on the table a few moments ago, giving it to his roommate. He was still huffing about Akaashi's actions, focusing solely on him.

"K-Kuroo-san… w-what a—"

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!" Kuroo held his shoulders, snapping at his friend. His breathing was as off as Akaashi's, his eyes looking directly at him. The younger's hands trembled and his lips quivered due to the grasp he felt on his shoulders, combining with the intensity of the look the person in front of him shot.

"Why would you do that?! Why would you even think of doing such a thing to yourself?! You could have talked it out with me instead!"

"I wouldn't have wanted you to know!" Akaashi screamed back in frustration, an angry look clearly seen on his face. So did Kuroo's.

"I would've wanted to know if it was troubling you so much! Do you think I would like seeing you suffer like this?!"

"I didn't know what I was doing! I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO APPROACH YOU OR TELL YOU AT ALL. I WAS TOO SCARED TO GET ANYONE INVOLVED!" Kuroo's eyes widened, hearing Akaashi's voice in his loudest. It was full of hurt, guilt and frustration. It broke his heart. The younger tightly held onto his pants, tears streaming down his cheeks as his teeth gritted. Kuroo let go of his shoulders and slowly wrapped his arms around his neck, sinking his head near the younger's chest. Akaashi was a bit startled by his movements, he was put into a pause.

"Then, tell me now. Please, Akaashi. I want… I want to help you. Please. Please… P-Please…" Kuroo whispers, as he hugged Akaashi a lot tighter. His voice got hoarse and pained, barely able to hear the rest of what he spoke out. The younger's eyes widened, a bit shocked about Kuroo's actions toward him. It was gentle, safe, tints of worry, frustrated. It was a feeling he though he'd never feel from someone so mischievous, so smug, a pain in the ass for most, and especially for him. 

His hands soon rose, clenching tightly on the bedhead's shirt. His eyes started to water again, having realizations of what he was about to do. What he was doing to himself through the streak of stress and pressure.

"K-Kuroo-san… I- I didn't- I didn't know what I was…" Akaashi tried to explain himself, that is, if only he knew what he did. He doesn't know what to tell his dear roommate. One of Kuroo's hands shifted and is now on Akaashi's hair, stroking it steadily and slowly, calming him.

"Shh… okay. Okay. Calm down… I'm here. I'm here now, okay?" Kuroo hushed, continuing to make Akaashi comfortable once again. Soon, he did. His tensed shoulders relaxed and he didn't tremble anymore. They pulled apart from each other, Kuroo wiping his tears away.

Akaashi inhaled, and spoke.

He told him. About the stress so far with college. How it was unreasonably tight, that even though it's supposed to be one of the important levels to be working on, the people around him were being assholes. His groupmates, as mentioned before, did not help at all with their works and yet receives credit. For what? Breathing? They have told this to their professors but even the teacher is as lazy as the students he's with. It was a whole series of problems settled down from one source. Of course, the works of being a college student is obviously that much, but it shouldn't be this painful. The students are still human beings. But at this point. what kind of reasoning is effective?

"I'm so sorry Kuroo-san. For making you worry… and for doing that..." Akaashi spoke out. Kuroo forces a smile, still can't shake off the deep worry from his roommate.

"I get all of those. I understand what bullshit college gives us. Gives you. But hey, that's why you have friends who you can share your troubles to." The bedhead smiled, this time more genuine and comforting.

"I just didn't want to give you more trouble than you're already dealing." Akaashi tells him. Kuroo sighs, a smile still seen on his face. The raven was always like this. Concerned for others rather than himself. He rarely talk to people about how he feels and would prefer to keep it to himself while putting on his usual composed, deadpanned expression on his face. But if Akaashi thinks he wasn't read by anyone, he thought wrong.

For the past week, he was this stressed already. Like a bunch of shipmates on a small boat, with lots of holes. Making the water seep into their only source for survival while being afloat in the middle of nowhere. Full of doubt, exhaustion, dead hopes. As much as Kuroo had anticipated that Akaashi would be more shut-in than he already was because of the schedule, he did not, in any sort, thought that his roommate would eventually lead to this. 

He rubs Akaashi's back while giving a few more hushes.

"Hey. No one needs to face these kinds of things by themselves. Not all problems are supposed to be faced alone. That's why we have friends, buddies, families, who deeply care for your well-being. No one said life would be easy forever. It's part of it, that can make you stronger than you used to be." Kuroo tells him, looking out into the glittering sky of the night. Akaashi glances at him before looking at the dim yet starry view.

"I don't have the right words for it. But I can say, that you're definitely not alone. Not one bit. If you are alone, you're alone with me. Your 'pain-in-the-ass' roommate named Kuroo Tetsurou, and I don't want you to feel this way in the future. It's not wrong to take a break once in a while, even how hectic your work is. If you force yourself too much, you'll think too much, more than you can handle. You'll get burned out and would really not get anything done." Kuroo faced him, making sure those words got implanted into Keiji's mind. The bedhead knew that his roommate was a hardworker, would study a lot rather than go to some party and he applauds him for that. Seeing the boy working for his dreams are worth it. 

Before, he saw how Akaashi would put his heart into everything and how he would always give his best effort in finishing a project. It was always the greatest source of motivation he had, and probably will still have. But lately, there wasn't anything like that and he got worried.

"So?"

"So…?"

"Take a break with me. Let's watch something. I'll make hot chocolate and you just get comfy." Kuroo smiles at Akaashi, who was now looking calmer and taking in all those advices he never asked for but needed. Keiji looks down for the while, which made the bedhead a bit nervous. He sighed, raising his head to show a warm smile.

"I would like that very much."

"There's the Keiji I know." Kuroo ruffles his hair before standing up. He was about to go out to get his laptop on the couch in the living room and soon the drinks he settled with, but there was a tug on the lower hem of his shirt.

"Hey, Kuroo…"

"Yes?" Again, the taller got a bit antsy by his roommate's sudden action. But it faded as soon as he saw Akaashi was smiling at him.

"Thank you." Kuroo felt relief, pulling Akaashi for a short hug.

"Anything for you, Akaashi." He said, walking out with him with assurance that his roommate was going to be alright, and will be alright from now on.


End file.
